They knew it was associated with my brain damage.
But still... 'knowing' and having something officially confirmed and diagnosed...
That is a big step. And, it hurts.
It doesn't matter that you were prepared. It doesn't matter that you expected it...
A diagnosis still hurts.
Just before my first birthday, my cortical vision impairment was officially diagnosed.
Back then, we knew nothing about this vision impairment.
We know a lot more, now, because of personal research.
Finding out I had a vision impairment made Mum and Dad cry.
I will never hold a driver's licence.
I can never drive Dad home from the Golf Club. I can't drive Mum to the shops.
I can't always see their faces when they smile at me.
I can't see our beautiful town, with the hills and stone walls, beaches and mountains.
I can't see the Christmas presents under the tree.
I will miss out on so much.
That's what broke Mum and Dad's hearts, again.
She wanted me to see her.
After some research, we learned that contrasting colours are good. A solid background of colour is important. That takes away all the confusion and helps me concentrate on one object.
Slowly moving objects are easier for me to see.
Things need to be held close to my face, so I can see them. A vision test I had suggested objects need to be within 30cm from my face.
I like flashing lights. That's why I have a disco ball and glowing objects in my bedroom.
It's good that Mum and Dad explain what I am looking at, so I learn to see and recognise things.
My eyesight can be improved and developed until I am about eight years old. Knowing this is what encourages my family to help me learn to focus; to learn to see.
Sometimes, I have 'good seeing days'. I will focus more and concentrate on certain things.
Some days, I won't see as much.
My eyes are fine. They work perfectly.
It's my brain damage that stops me from 'seeing'. My eyes see things and send the message back to my brain. The message my eyes send to my brain gets lost... Because of the lost messages, I don't actually 'see' what I was looking at. Sometimes, this makes me feel confused and a bit giddy. Sometimes, waking up and being brought out of bed is a weird feeling, as I try to adjust to light and movement.
Sometimes, I look right into the faces of my family. Sometimes, I see them.. and, when I do... they smile for me.
Every time.
We're more confident with my cortical vision impairment, now. We have more understanding of it and we try to do as much therapy as we can. Some days, we don't think too much about it. Some days, it still breaks our hearts.
Read more about my cortical vision impairment here.
My CVI Bedroom & Nanoo’s Quilts
Nanoo’s Book
My Braille Books
Learning to See
Vision Tests
Lights!
My Vision Impairment
My CVI UPdate
A Lightbox To Teach Me To Se
Dexter's 2013
Dexter's First Month
Dexter's Cerebral Palsy
Dexter's Cancer
Who is Dexter?
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