We never expected to find so many friends along the way!
Once the chemotherapy stopped, we figured we wouldn't blog anymore...
but people had fallen in love with Dexter,
and they wanted to know how he was going.
And so, we blogged about him and his cancer journey and his daily struggles with severe cerebral palsy.
We share the good news and the bad news.
We share the hopes and success stories, and the fears and setbacks.
Sometimes, we worry about providing too much personal information about Dexter... But, he will never be a kid who goes unnoticed in a crowd. He's got severe cerebral palsy, and he will always look different. We might as well use him and his determined approach, to raise awareness, and build a community of love and support. We are so grateful to the people who love Dexter.
And so, we still blog.
Sometimes, we help raise awareness of other things, too. This post is about Shaken Baby Syndrome. Recently, I found a story on social media. A story of a little girl, who died on her third birthday. The story was written from the little girl's point of view, like we usually do with Dexter. Here's her story: |
I was born Friday, January 14, 2000, at 8:26 p.m. My mommy was in the hospital, in labor, for two days before I was born. My grandma and lots of aunts and uncles were there waiting for me to get here. Everyone was always excited when new babies were born in our family.
My daddy left my mommy before I was born so I didn’t know him until I was a little older. My mommy met a guy she really liked when I was about 1 ½ years old. They dated a while then they moved into a house together. Then they had a baby- my little sister.
He would never work, and when he did get a job, he wouldn’t keep it very long. That meant my mommy had to work very hard. She worked two jobs most of the time and he would babysit me and my baby sister. She cried a lot. One time she had a cut on her lip. My grandma asked him about it and he said it was from her bottle. I don’t think my grandma really believed that and she asked my mommy if he was doing anything to hurt her. My mommy said that she had never seen him be mean to her. Grandma was a little concerned.
In December 2002 I was hurt. I really don’t know what happened, but he was babysitting us. I was not feeling good and he told my mommy that I had fallen off my rocking horse and hit my head. My mommy took me to the hospital. They checked me and said I had a concussion. No one suspected that he had hurt me.
I never did feel very good after that day. I always had a headache and threw up a lot. My mommy took me back to the hospital. They said the concussion was healing, but there was still a little swelling on my brain and that could be why I had the headaches and kept throwing up. They still didn’t suspect abuse.
On Monday, January 13, 2003, he was babysitting again. I don’t remember what happened that day. I was taken to the hospital, by myself, wearing only my underwear and with wet hair. He called my mommy at work. She asked him if he had called 911. No he hadn’t. She hung up and called 911 and left work. She came home and got grandma and they came to the hospital to be with me. So did my grandpa, aunts and uncles. They were all there. He was home with my baby sister.
The hospital I was taken to couldn’t care for my injuries. They transported me to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. They did lots of tests. They told my family that things didn’t look good for me. They also wanted to check my sister to make sure she was not hurt. My cousin brought her over to the hospital and they did tests on her. She was fine, but they took her away from my mommy and put her in foster care.
The doctors and nurses monitored my condition all night. They told my mommy and grandma that the swelling was bad and there was blood in my eyes. Test results in the morning would tell what would happen. I still had not woken up.
On Tuesday, January 14, 2003, my family was called into a room to talk about my condition. It was bad. They brought someone from Life Center to talk to them about organ donation. My mommy and the rest of the family decided yes, I was going to be an organ donor. My heart and kidneys saved the lives of two little boys and a man.
They asked if I could be left on life support until 8:26 p.m. The doctors agreed to that. So at that time my family gathered around my bed and sang Happy Birthday to me for the very last time. I died on my 3rd birthday.
He was charged with my murder and went to jail. His trial was nine months later. He was found guilty of manslaughter. He said it was an accident, that we were wrestling and I hit my head and that the last time it happened he poured water over my head and I woke up. That would have been in December when I had the concussion and that would be why my hair was wet when I went to the hospital-because it had happened before. And no one suspected he was hurting me. He spent less than 6 years in prison before he was released.
...But this would not be a normal day for 5 month old Lola. This would be the day she began the fight of her life, for her life.
She endured a violent assault. She was squeezed, shaken, slammed down and left unconscious. Her skull and many of her tiny ribs were fractured. Her brain and the area behind her eyes began to bleed.
We knew something was “not right” with our precious baby upon picking her up that day. She lay in her car seat, seemingly conscious, but groggy and not interactive. We hovered over her that night, debating possible causes of her strange demeanor. After phone calls to grandma and mom’s friends a plan was made to wait and see. We were completely unaware of Lola’s life-threatening injuries.
Read more on the Lola's Hope website, where Lola's story is shared.
She is a survivor.
Her family are dedicated to raising awareness of Shaken Baby Syndrome.
Shaken Baby Syndrome is a form of Traumatic Brain Injury that occurs when a baby is violently shaken causing damage to the baby's fragile brain. It causes long-term and permanent damage to the baby's brain, which can result in learning difficulties and behavioural problems later in life. Injuries related to Shaken Baby Syndrome:
| Inconsolable crying, and a frustrated adult is the most common reason used for shaking a baby. It usually occurs in children 2 and under, but occurs in children up to 5 years old. |
Always remember how much tiny our children are. We see Dexter struggle as a result of his brain damage. It breaks our hearts that he has to work and try so hard. To think a perfectly healthy baby or young child will have to endure the same battles, because an adult became frustrated and treated them too roughly, is simply awful. Keep our babies safe!
One shake is all it takes.
***Dexter is not a survivor of Shaken Baby Syndrome. He was born prematurely.
His brain damage was detected at a routine scan, when he was 30 days old.
Carol