She made me realise how closely I follow Winnie the Pooh's advice.
Here are a few Winnie the Pooh quotes, and how they apply to me.
(He really was one wise little bear! And, he had some great friends.)
― A.A. Milne
Always. Always love. No questions and no effort… Dexter seems to have the ability to wrap himself in love. There’s something pretty special about this little guy. He is very easy to love. We've seen many 'strangers' feel drawn to Dexter, and want to hold his hand.
“You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”
― A.A. Milne
Before Dexter, we were the kind of people who liked to stay in the corner. We were comfortable there. Since Dexter has been around, we have learned to be much more proactive and assertive. We are much freer in ourselves and more comfortable with being seen. For Dexter, we step forward. We look for ways to give him adventures and happy days. We look for ways to include him. With Dexter, there are no corners to hide in and he has taught us to be so much stronger.
― A.A. Milne
We will get ‘there’. With severe quadriplegic cerebral palsy and a vision impairment, milestones were not met at the ‘right’ time. So, we threw away the Book of Milestones and let Dexter set the speed. We push him. We encourage him. We help him. But, he does the work. We celebrate everything; when it happens. We have had a few setbacks (surgeries and cancer) but we will never give up. We’ve become like a river… and, we know how strong rivers can be.
“If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.”
― A.A. Milne
Some people have not 'heard' us when we talked about our concerns, regarding Dexter. Some people still can’t hear the truth. Some people don’t understand Dexter, at all, even though we’ve been telling his story for so long. We will keep telling his story. We will continue to research and look for our best options.
And, we will rejoice in talking to the people who really see and understand Dexter.
― A.A. Milne
We were lost. We were together and we held on tight, but we were lost. We were lost because everything was too hard and too scary and too awful. But the whole time... we were with Dexter and he has brought us back out, into the sunshine.
“Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That's the problem.”
― A.A. Milne
Some people pity Dexter. They lightly pat him and call him a ‘poor boy’. Don’t they see his strength and determination? Don’t they see his cheekiness and the love he has for everything? Don’t they see his curiosity and stubbornness? Many people talk to Dexter… but some of them don’t actually ‘see’ him and they don’t know how to ‘listen’ to him. Some people just ignore him and pretend he's not there. Again, we will rejoice in talking to the people who really see and understand Dexter.
A.A. Milne
We are so grateful! We’re grateful to everyone who has supported us, financially and emotionally. And Dexter? We're grateful we still have him. And, Dexter loves his adventures. He thrives because of the opportunities he gets. He is strong because of the equipment we have been able to provide him with. We are grateful for the people who include Dexter. We are constantly filled with gratitude.
“When you see someone putting on his Big Boots, you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen.”
A.A. Milne
We love adventures!
― A.A. Milne
This applies to us on many levels. We look strong and like we have it ‘all together’. We don’t. We still cry. We still get scared. Our hearts still race and anxiety settles in our hearts and stomachs. We are just better at hiding it, now.
Just because Dexter has cerebral palsy, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want love and excitement, kindness and support.
And his sisters? They need it, too. We make sure they don’t miss out and that they are loved. We hope Dexter and his sisters can all be seen for the little people they really are.
“Think it over, think it under.”
― A.A. Milne
Find a way. Be creative. Think laterally. Never give up. Adapt.
― A.A. Milne
Ok. We say this, a lot… but, our version is a little harsher…
“My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places.”
― A.A. Milne
Not so much the spelling… but, the walking, the feeding, the talking, the head control and the spitting and dribbling… Dexter is a little ‘wobbly’ in some ways, but his progress and achievements are still impressive.
“So perhaps the best thing to do is to stop writing Introductions and get on with the book.”
― A.A. Milne
We’ve got the bones of a book for Dexter… We just need the time and the emotional strength. (We'll be digging over some old anxieties and fears.)
― A.A. Milne
And, it’s hard to be brave when you keep getting knocked down. It’s hard to be brave when the challenges are so big. But, bravery is better than giving up.
“The old grey donkey, Eeyore stood by himself in a thistly corner of the Forest, his front feet well apart, his head on one side, and thought about things. Sometimes he thought sadly to himself, "Why?" and sometimes he thought, "Wherefore?" and sometimes he thought, "Inasmuch as which?" and sometimes he didn't quite know what he was thinking about.”
― A.A. Milne
Asking ‘Why?’ won’t help us. It won’t help Dexter. And so, we ask ‘How?’.
Eeyore shook his head from side to side.
"Not very how," he said.
"I don't seem to have felt at all how for a long time."
"Dear, dear," said Pooh, "I'm sorry about that. Let's have a look at you.”
― A.A. Milne
Oh, Eeyore. We understand.
“Piglet was so excited at the idea of being Useful that he forgot to be frightened any more...”
― A.A. Milne
We’ve been scared. A lot. We found one way to overcome the fear is to be proactive. That’s drives us to get out there and do more. We try to be useful. We try to fundraise and support others. It takes a lot of thought and effort, which distracts us from being scared.
“He could see the honey, he could smell the honey, but he couldn’t quite reach the honey.”
― A.A. Milne
Dexter knows what he wants to do. He knows what he wants to say. He has opinions. He is curious. His brain damage stops the messages from getting to his brain and back. He knows what he wants to do… He just can’t quite do it. Yet.
And, this one... “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
Winnie-the-Pooh' was published on October 14th, 1926.
During the first World War, troops from Winnipeg (Manitoba, Canada) were being transported to eastern Canada, on their way to Europe, where they were to join the 2nd Canadian Infantry Brigade. When the train stopped at White River, Ontario, a lieutenant called Harry Colebourn bought a small female black bear cub for $20 from a hunter who had killed its mother. He named her 'Winnipeg', after his hometown of Winnipeg, or 'Winnie' for short.
Winnie became the mascot of the Brigade and went to Britain with the unit. When the Brigade was posted to the battlefields of France, Colebourn, now a Captain, took Winnie to the London Zoo for a long loan. He formally presented the London Zoo with Winnie in December 1919 where he became a popular attraction and lived until 1934.
The bear was also very popular with Christopher Robin, son of author A.A. Milne. It was his favourite animal at the Zoo. He often spent time inside the cage with it.